The Playboy’s Morning is the Greatest
The next morning.
I woke up on that same bed.
Sandwiched between two shortstacks. The three of us are almost totally nude.
Yesterday night was the greatest. Make no mistake.
“Fuwaa… Ah, Dylan-san, good morning…”
“Funyaaaa~… Master, mornin’ nyaa…”
“Morning, you two.”
Tina and Nyannyan who had just woken up both hugged me.
The taste of their soft skin on my own was better than any breakfast.
I reached out and enjoyed the caress of both of their breasts at the same time. Oh, it’s true, Tina’s really is soft and Nyannyan’s is flexible and bouncy.
“Nnn, Dylan-san… Really is a bad person after all…”
“Oh, the playboy doesn’t ever stop does he… Comparing breasts first thing in the morning, nyaa…”
“Wasn’t it you two who attacked me in the first place?”
As I massaged the cat girl’s breasts, I kissed Tina. Nyannyan laid a hand on my knee, then snaked her fingers towards my waist. Tina passionately kissed me back, grabbing my cheeks and moving her tongue with mine.
The playboy’s morning, it really was the greatest.
◇ ◆ ◇ ◆ ◇ ◆ ◇ ◆ ◇ ◆
The capital city of the Kingdom of Garland.
On the outskirts of the city, there was a run-down inn.
In a dusty corner of its dining room, two girls sat so closely together as they talked at one of the tiny tables their knees tapped together.
Actually, it would be more accurate to say that one of them was talking, whilst the other was just sitting there silent and expressionless, her eyes opened wide. She’s a bit scary.
“That foolish swordsman thinks to conquer the demon continent alone, but that’s the height of folly.”
“But that being said, if I return to father as it stands, I won’t get off with merely a scolding, I’ll be married off to some old fogey of a noble and have no future.”
“If that’s the case, I think I’ll aim to become the director of the National Magic Academy and try to pick up some handsome mage. Since I’m so beautiful, I can do anything.”
The one who was speaking so one-sidedly is the Magic Hero, Aiza.
And the other one, was she actually listening to a word the mage was saying with those deadpan eyes? She was the Saintly Hero, Mills.
That glorious party of heroes, only two members still remained.
“So, we should return to the support organization. You know the story, right? That playboy scum ran away and that sword fool also disappeared. We did everything we could to stop them, but they wouldn’t hear us out.”
Finally, Mills moved a muscle. Well, honestly, she just blinked.
“………………Dylan Albertini was banished, though?”
“Are you an idiot? No matter how much that playboy was useless scum, it’s not permitted to fire party members selected by the Alliance without permission. That sword fool might have been selected as a ‘leader’, but he didn’t have the authority to do that. We could get court-martialed.”
“…………………Then why did you let him go without saying anything?”
“Hah? Because he was useless scum, of course? It was the right thing to do. Besides, I wasn’t the one responsible.
Kukuku, Aiza chuckled under her breath.
But, her expression was slightly strained, like a person who had been backed into a corner.
As if noticing it, Mills blinked again.
Not wanting to look at that person anymore, she turned away to look around the room. They were being watched. It doesn’t seem like they heard their conversation, but…
Despite covering themselves up with a loose-fitting cloak in order to hide their identities, the two girls in corner of that decrepit place were still beauties who looked incredibly out of place.
There was no way they weren’t going to attract attention.
“Ohh, you two ladies sure are pretty. How much?”
A middle-aged man who had been drinking from midday sidled up to them and called out.
And, slipping a hand past Aiza’s shoulder with unflinching familiarity, grabbed one of her breasts.
She was mistaken for a ‘prostitute’.
Sitting at that little table, wearing that loose cloak and looking so nervous, that mage from a noble family hadn’t been recognized at all, whilst the man who could only see her as a lady of the night kept massaging her chest.
――This shitty bastard!
Aiza lost it.
At that instant, the inn on the outskirts of the city was reduced to ashes.
She really shouldn’t have done that.
The consequences of unleashing level 30 offensive magic in a place like this should go without saying.
Of course, Aiza knew that full well, but…
“Haa….. Haa…. Serves you right….! Shit, shit! I feel disgusting, I feel disgusting, I feel gross gross gross!!!”
As what remained of the inn burned in front of her, it was hard to tell just who had survived or perished in the blast, Aiza tried to wipe away her tears as she held the place she was molested.
Meanwhile, Mills continued to sit expressionless in her chair as if nothing had happened.
The two of them stayed like that for a while, but it didn’t take long for an uproar to spread.
“Uwaah, there’s been an explosion!”
“Eh? What? Magic!?”
“Run away! We’ve gotta get outta here!”
It didn’t take long for the girls to be surrounded by the police.
“What do you think you’re doing!? Do you have any idea who I am!?”
“Stop resisting! Put down that staff!
“Come one step closer and I’ll kill you!”
“Oh no, call the knights! The suspects are dangerous rogue adventurers!”
“I am a ‘hero’ I’ll have you knoooow!”
“Uwaaaah, magic! She’s casting magic! Everyone take cover!!”
But, before the situation could get any worse, personnel from the support organization who were looking for the members of the hero party arrived on the scene.
They had been searching for the members of the party ever since Dylan performed his magic show on the street.
They immediately took the two girls to stand trial before the King. In Garland castle.
But, they weren’t granted an audience immediately, so they were left in the dungeons. It’s only natural. They had essentially become criminals, indiscriminately casting destructive magic in the city.
If you took the already decrepit dining room and added another 50 years of decay, you’d have an idea of the nature of that prison cell, the interior sight of which was truly fascinating, with Aiza sobbing loudly as she ate bread and soup.
“Why… I’m supposed to be a hero… A noble… Why do I have to eat such disgusting food…!!?”
“Thank you lord, for this, our daily garba- I mean, bread. Oh, this truly is a divine ordeal. To sustain my body with such refuse…”
The two of them give it a pretty horrible appraisal, but this is a meal that’s quite typical for common folk.
Although they had deserted, they were still former ‘heroes’. The reason they had such good food in jail was probably that the sympathetic King decided to treat them as graciously as he could given the situation, but those feelings don’t seem to have reached the two of them.
“Uuuu…. Why… Why is this happening…?”
“Oh lord, please guide me… Guide me somewhere that doesn’t smell this intolerable…”
Those two girls continued pouring their hearts out, though they didn’t say a word to each other.
◇ ◆ ◇ ◆ ◇ ◆ ◇ ◆ ◇ ◆
Tina and Nyannyan stood side by side in the kitchen.
Instead of charging her for the room, I let Nyannyan work here as a maid as well, just like Tina.
Meanwhile, I drank a cup of coffee and had a look at the newspaper in the living room.
“Master, sorry to keep you waiting!”
“Look what I made you, master!”
The two maids brought me breakfast. Nice, huh?
For such small bodies, both of them carried pretty big trays.
But since they’re both pro adventurers, it must not be heavy at all. They gingerly laid out the dishes in the dining room.
The dining room table is rectangular in shape.
Naturally, I sat at the head of the table. Tina sat on my right, Nyannyan to the left.
The two shortstacks flanked me at the table. …How do I say this politely? Their chests seem to be getting in the way. I’m getting nervous just watching them, how long until they start knocking over my tableware and bottles?
On the table, the breakfast dishes were all jumbled together.
I get freshly baked croissants delivered here from the bakery in town every morning.
There’s the steaming corn pottage soup that Tina made.
Finely sliced ham, delicious cheese and fresh milk from a farm just outside of Babel.
Lettuce and other leafy greens taken from the best greenhouses in the city mixed into a salad tossed with olive oil.
There’s another salad with tomatoes chopped up into eight equal parts, mixed with more rocked and spinach, with a sprinkling of feta cheese on the top. Tossed with even more olive oil.
I’m not sure how I didn’t smell it before, but Nyannyan seems to have roasted a whole chicken from early this morning. She leaves the serving to Tina, who easily carved it up using her warrior’s strength.
Seeing the chicken seasoned with different spices being heaped up on my plate, Nyannyan began to drool.
“Nyaha! Being able to eat such delicious food in the morning is the best, nya! I knew that you were the right master to follow!”
Tina, who served the food with a very practised hand, smiled as she wiped the knife clean. Wait a minute, that’s not a knife, isn’t that my Yagetsutou? I mean, I guess it can cut well, but using it like that is a bit… Huh, when did she even get her hands on it?
As I looked at Tina’s hands, she beamed at me.
“It’s true, master is really amazing! He’s living a noble life better than most nobles do!”
“I was just successful as an adventurer, is all. Well, maybe there was some luck involved.”
“Master, wasn’t your luck rank E?”
“…That’s true. Then, I guess it’s all skill.”
As I bragged, Tina and Nyannyan yelled out at the same time.
Hearing cheers like that, my body moves completely against my will. My right hand moved with a flourish and cast a magic trick. And a wreath of flowers appeared on both their heads.
I heard two shrill little voices cry out either side of the table.
Ah, jeez. It’s going to be a noisy morning.
Trying to avoid making more of a ruckus, I gave the potage soup Tina worked so hard on a taste. ――Woah, what the!?
“Tina. This soup…”
“Yes, master? Do you not like how it tastes…?”
“It’s really damn tasty.”
“~~! Thank you very muuuuch!!”
Tina’s face burst into a massive smile. She’s really cute.
“Master! Are you planning to climb up the tower today!? If I’m with you, I bet we can make it all the way to the hundredth floor!”
“Nya! Same goes for me, master! I want to show off my thievery skills, nya!”
“Ah, about that…”
Although we started to climb the tower, we’ve only reached the third floor so far.
Since we didn’t have a map, it seemed impossible to make it any higher, but since Nyannyan is here now that shouldn’t be a problem.
Putting the fourth floor aside, we should be able to make the tenth as we are now, but…
“Before we get going, there’s something I want to make sure of.”
The two of them tilted their heads like they’d rehearsed it. Cute.
“There’s a place I’d like to go ‘eat’ at first.”
I flicked the ‘Death’ tarot between my fingers from my sleeve and told them.
“On the outskirts of Babel, the ‘Cursed Lands’.”