The Playboy’s Tower of Babel Encore
A certain room in a certain inn.
“That scum still hasn’t come back!?”
‘The Conquering Sword Hero’ Laius kicked his chair.
“No way… Did he really leave the party?”
He went to look at Dylan’s room, but it was completely bare.
Well, in the first place, he was the one who told him to hand all his items over, so of course, it was bare.
Laius isn’t really thinking straight, though.
“――Son of a bitch! Do you even know what a ‘Hero’ is!?”
Dylan isn’t a ‘Hero’, though. He’s just a ‘Playboy’.
Laius went back to his room in a huff.
And sat down on his bed.
“Fine, whatever. It should be easy to hire someone else to carry our bags.”
He got up and went back down the stairs.
一It seems he’s heading for the dining room on the first floor to have breakfast.
Aiza and Mills still haven’t woken up yet.
“Heh, those slovenly idiots…”
Laius took a seat.
Although he waited, nothing came out.
It only makes sense. Since this inn has a system where you go and get the food yourself.
It was then that it finally clicked that Dylan had been bringing him food every time.
“Shit, why do I…”
He grunted as he stood up to get a meal, ate it begrudgingly and then left to go back upstairs.
“Oi, you, put away your own dishes!”
As the landlady shouted at him, he retorted with an ‘As if I care!’ and kept going.
That lady is the one who runs this inn.
“What did you just say!?”
The landlady decided to kick Laius out that same night.
One hour later.
Laius left the inn.
In the capital, there is the headquarters of the organization that supports the ‘Hero’.
Originally, once they escaped from the Demon Continent, they should have reported back there straight away.
But, Laius didn’t want to do that.
He still hadn’t given up.
He was going to return to the Demon Continent, no matter what.
And to do that, he needed a ship.
Since the ship originally built for the heroes had sunk, he needed to prepare another one.
However, Laius didn’t think this would be a big deal.
As soon as he said the word ‘Hero’, shipwrights from all over the world should throw themselves at his feet.
…Of course, that’s a big misunderstanding.
In the first place, he has to at least go to the port city from the capital.
There is a carriage that runs from the capital to the port.
He could make the trip much faster by teleportation magic, but there might be trouble if someone identifies him. Right now, he’s supposed to be in the Demon Continent. Even when using a ship, he was planning to keep his identity a secret.
That was his intention.
Laius arrived at the carriage stables wearing a hooded cloak and called out to the owner.
“Don’t ‘Huh?’ me. Don’t you know who I am?”
“Haaa? You some kind of thug?”
“You scum. Look closely at my face.”
He’s met this owner once before. Well, actually, he was standing in the back when Dylan negotiated.
“Who are ya’?”
“You… You have a defective memory, you scum…!”
“Who did’ja just call scum?”
“You leave me with no choice, look at this.”
“Haa? …’Proof of the Hero’? Now where’dja get that?”
“Where you say? I received it directly from the King himself!”
“Directly from the King… Oh! L-Lord Hero…!?”
“Yes, you’ve finally remembered?”
“Yes, please do pardon me, I didn’t think someone who spoke so disgustingly would be a hero.”
“You’re the one who’s disgusting, knave!”
“But, why’re you here? Weren’t’ja supposed to be in the Demon Continent? Wait, have ya already defeated the Demon King!?”
“N-no, that’s uh… Not yet… We’re just having uh… A little rest.”
“Ha, a rest?”
“That kind of thing doesn’t concern you! Anyways, just give me a carriage!”
“That’s fine an’ all, but where are ya going?”
“To Janova. A three-person ride.”
“The port city… You’re headin’ back to the Demon Continent, huh?”
With a smirk, the owner understood.
Then, he remembered something.
“Where’s that playboy fella from before?”
“Hah! I expelled that scum!”
“He was just a worthless hanger-on whilst we worked around the clock! Besides, this mess is all his fault. He should be grateful I didn’t end up killing him!”
“Well, you say hanger-on… But I only ever saw that fella runnin’ around like some kind of servant…”
“He ran away from the enemy without permission! It’s because of his cowardice that we’re in this quagmire!”
“In other words, everyone escaped together… Ah.”
So you’re all here now, and not on the Demon Continent…? Although the owner had seen the full picture, Laius didn’t realize.
“I’m done with that scum. I’ll be back here in one hour. Get everything ready.”
“Aye, I got it. ――Ah, and I’ll be taking the payment now.”
“What did you just say? Payment? You’re trying to have a hero pay!?”
“Ehh? You’ll put me in a bind if you say something like that. I mean, you paid properly the last time, right?”
“I don’t know anything about that!”
“You should know, even if you’re a hero if you’ve got no money… I’d have to get a contract from the support organization…”
“D-do not contact the support headquarters! Don’t you ever!”
“N-no, I mean, well… Money, right? It’s just money. …Will this do?”
Laius put a single Garland silver coin on the table.
The owner is stunned, looking first at the coin then back at Laius.
“What, is there something wrong?”
The owner’s eyes looked Laius up and down as if to put a price on him.
And this is what he eventually came up with. This guy is an idiot.
And so, his attitude changed.
“What did you say?”
“Giving me a silver coin like this, you think it’s enough? What do you want to ride exactly? A pony? Maybe a sheep?”
“What are you saying you…!”
“Ten Garland gold coins. That would do.”
“W-what, gold? And ten pieces!? That’s enough to buy food for a month! There’s no way it’s that high!”
“If you don’t like it, go find someone else.”
Seething with anger, his hand unconsciously reached to the sword on his hip.
But, before he knew it, a crowd had begun to gather. If he drew his sword and made a ruckus here, no doubt word would get back to the support organization.
Laius turned and left.
Eventually, he didn’t manage to rent any carriage at all.
“Why did this…! Shit, shit….!”
“Hey, you! Where have you been!”
When Laius returned to the inn, the only thing that greeted him was Aiza shouting in his ear. Mills stood next to her, expressionless.
“What? I don’t have to report whatever I’m doing to the likes of you!”
“They kicked us out of the inn because of you! What the hell did you do!?”
“What? We got kicked out?”
Certainly, Laius’ luggage is on the step now that he looks at it.
“What’s this all about!?”
“How should I know! Did you anger the old lady or something!?”
“What did you say!?”
As they were making such a fracas in front of the inn,
“Oh ho what’s this? A lover’s quarrel?”
“Hey, you know… Those two look familiar.”
“Who were they again…?”
Passers-by stopped and looked at Laius and the others.
Blood began to rise to Laius’ head.
“Tch! Shit, we’ve gotta go…!”
Laius walked away quickly in a panic.
“Wait just a moment! Where do you think you’re going!?”
“Shut up! Be quiet!”
“‘Shut up’!? Wait just a moment! Who do you think you’re speaking to!!”
Laius had managed to reserve lodgings at a hostel that looked little better than a shelter for the homeless.
Aiza said that ‘She wasn’t going to sleep in a stable’, and went to look for somewhere else, Mills went with her.
“Hey, where’s all my luggage…?”
Laius’ luggage that had been chucked out of their previous inn.
No way, did Aiza not bring his luggage with her when they left the inn?
He rushed back there, but there wasn’t any sign of it
He intended to complain to the landlady that he had been unfairly evicted and lost his luggage as a result, but when she threatened to call the guards he fled.
“Uuuu, shit, shit, why is this…!?”
He’d lost all his luggage and travel expenses, all alone in that cold room, he sobbed himself to sleep.
◇ ◆ ◇ ◆ ◇ ◆ ◇ ◆ ◇ ◆
Heavenly Tower Babel.
The sun is at its apex.
The tower partially conceals it, casting a looming shadow on the city below.
The town that sprawls around the base of the tower shares its name.
It’s not an official name, of course. It’s just how it came to be known as.
This land is considered sacred by the Alliance.
‘Adventurers’ manage the city voluntarily.
At the centre of it all is the Adventurers Guild.
The building that houses the guild is built as if to surround the base of the tower.
First of all, I went to see the guild reception.
“Oh~, It hasn’t changed at all.”
After entering through the large double doors, I walked to the reception desk.
Well, it’s only been three years. It’s been that long since I last saw the guild after joining the Heroes party, but it’s the same as ever.
The dining room and the tavern were as crowded as usual.
Over there’s the roundtable where I scratched in my initials as a celebration for reaching level 99 as a jester.
The chairs are also wooden, but unlike the tables, they actually seem new. Everybody always breaks these when things get rowdy, I guess that’s why.
Passing through that area, there’s a bulletin board on the right-hand wall.
Party recruitment, item collection requests, bartering, that kind of thing.
The reception desk is a bit further on.
Even though this was my first time back in three years, I was glad to see that the receptionist’s face was a familiar one.
“It’s been a while, Anita. Didn’t you miss me? Ah! In the three years we’ve been parted, it felt like my heart was being torn asunder!”
Before I realized it, I was already offering her a single rose.
Poor Miss Anita is agape.
Crap, one of my strange jester habits appeared.
An adventurer’s ‘job’ allows them to exceed human limits, but there are also certain ‘side-effects’.
In the case of the jester, you’ll keep trying to impress women constantly, which eventually leads to doing completely unnecessary things in battles like comical one liners and poses. Incidentally, it pissed Laius off a lot as well.
And our receptionist Anita is still sitting there slackjawed.
This might be bad.
I broke into a cold sweat.
Anita’s sudden ear shattering outburst was a little surprising.
“Yo, long time no see.”
“No way, seriously!?”
“Eh? Eh? That Dylan!? The jester!?”
“You came back, you fuckerー!”
All the adventurers in the tavern got into an uproar.
“You’re back, huh!”
“It’s been ages, Dylan!”
“Welcome back, Dylan!”
“You’re alive, you clown!”
And, they congratulated me on my return.
They keep slapping me on my back and shoulders.
“Weeeell, everyone, I’m baaaack!”
I spread out my arms and greeted them back.
Of course, the greeting of a jester is but another magic trick.
And from my stretched out palms, petals began to swirl around.
“As expected of Dylan! You haven’t gotten rusty!”
Jumping up on the roundtable I graffitied way back then, I raised up my right hand.
“The Jester, Dylan Albertini! Here for his encore in Babelー!”
” “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!” ”
As they cheered, I gave them a bow.
Yep, after all, the Heavenly Tower is just the best.
I am here to rewrite the script of my lif-
“Hey, Dylan, who’s this little girl?”
Looking around, I saw a familiar warrior pointing to an absurdly busty girl, despite her short stature.
“Woooow, Dylan-san, you really are…!”
Tina glanced up at me with big shining eyes.
Those gleaming eyes.
That look of respect.
“Well, if I had to explain it…”
I suddenly became quite depressed.
I’ve decided to come out as a human trashcan. In a way, this might have been my life’s true calling.