Old Vampire and a Holy Girl – 10

The Saint Will Not Give Up on the Vampire

“Mister! I brought something great with me today!”


The thick black curtains were pulled open.

Refreshing morning sunlight spilled into the room.

The man rose from his bed, his skin melting so slightly that it wasn’t visible to the naked eye.

“Good morning. So, what is this ‘great’ thing you’ve brought?”


The Saint proudly presented the basket she was holding in her arms.

The man was a bit wary.

“Are those more job flyers?”

“No, that’s not it.”

“Then, more homework?”

“That’s not it either. After reflecting hard on those two attempts, I’ve come up with a brand new way of persuading you today!”

“Another means of persuasion, to what end exactly…?”

“Of course, to persuade mister to return to society!”

She clenched her fist.

Of course – this man is a vampire, in a world where vampires have ceased to exist.

So, it seems like this man is instead seen as “A societal recluse who pretends to be a vampire.”

It seems like a Saint’s job nowadays is to help those who have withdrawn from society and believe the best way to do that is through work.

Times sure have changed, the man thinks to himself.

To describe a ‘Saint’ in the past, they were something that could be called “The Ultimate Bane of All Demihumans”, an existence even vampires like himself had regarded with fear.

Now, they have been relegated to something akin caregiver.

Although the word ‘Saint’ might be correct given its original meaning, for this man who knew all too well the terrible power Saints wielded in the past, it was a hard change to swallow.

“No matter what you may do, I will never return to society… Actually the word ‘return’ isn’t really apt for me. After all, I have never been part of human society…”

“Yes. In other words, mister, you don’t have any work history.”


That may be true.

But, he didn’t like that way of expressing it.

He really didn’t like it.

“Don’t worry! Please leave everything to me! Even if you lack social experience, or work history, or just have a general feeling of ‘working is scary’, I’ve prepared something that will definitely help you want to work!”

“Hm. So, what exactly is this thing?”

“Until now I’ve been rushing things, just pushing you to work, I haven’t really considered mister’s feelings…”

“So, you finally understand?”


The man isn’t quite sure where this confidence is coming from.

As long as the Saint continues to believe ‘Vampires do not exist’, he’s not sure the day when they can truly understand each other will ever come.

“That’s why, today, I brought this along with me!”

The Saint opened the lid of the basket.

And inside was…

“…Bread? And paper bags?”

“Yes! It’s bread! And those are indeed paper bags! Today’s theme is ‘Let’s understand how great the craftsmen are!'”


“All those things that we eat or use casually in our daily lives, a lot of effort and care has gone into making them. So, if you understand just how much passion has gone into making it, you’ll gain a greater appreciation for work!”

“I see.”

“The first thing we shall appreciate today is bread. You probably already know about it, right mister?”

“Well, yes. However, back in this uncle’s day, bread was a lot darker, rounder and harder… Is the long white bread that you’ve brought today typical now?”

“Yes. So, today, let’s try making some bread!”

“…Why should we do that?”

“By actually making something that you use every day yourself, you will say to yourself ‘This is hard work!’ or ‘I really appreciate just how hard the craftsman work to satisfy a lot of customers every day’, or something like that!”

It seems like today has a more concrete theme than usual.

The Saint herself is showing some progress.

“So, we’re just going to be making bread?”

“That’s right. The accessories I brought last time weren’t really something you were familiar with mister, so you couldn’t really appreciate the work that went into them… But today, I brought something that mister eats every day!”


The fact that the man’s staple food was blood has been completely ignored.

It’s not that he can’t eat normal food, he does drink tea and eat scones from time to time, but…

It’s really just part of a habit of having tea time, he doesn’t need to eat bread to fill his belly.

If anything, for the man, eating food is just a means to keep his mouth busy. For that purpose, the tough old bread he remembers would probably be better than modern bread.

“Just so you know, I have never cooked anything in my life, is that fine?”


The Saint comes face to face with the man.

And, whilst glancing at the familiar in the corner of the room, she whispered.

“Usually, Familiar-chan makes all your meals, right?”

“…Well, so far as making it goes… I suppose you’re right.”

“That’s right. So, once in a while, mister should make food for Familiar-chan. That way, Familiar-chan will be impressed and say ‘I love you, Grandpa!'”


He can’t really imagine his familiar ever saying something like that.

In the first place, the man isn’t the familiar’s grandfather.

“No… I really don’t think that the familiar wants that at all…”

“It’s just because she hasn’t asked yet. Probably.”

“No, I know she will never ask for that, I can see it on their face…”

“Isn’t she normally expressionless?”

“No, that face is actually really noisy.”

“What do you mean, noisy?”

“Anyways, it’s not worth worrying about.”

“Well, okay. Anyways! The amount of unemployed men who don’t cook for themselves is very high. Doing things cooking, cleaning, and getting rid of that ‘being unemployed is fine’ attitude will help you live with a healthier state of mind.”

It seems like the way things are going, he’s going to have to cook.

The man gave up his resistance – No matter how old he might be, it’s not really a bad thing to try something new once in a while.

“Alright, alright. Then, for today, let’s make some bread.”

“Yes! Today we will take our first step towards social rehabilitation through cooking for yourself and understanding the passion and satisfaction of bakers!”

The Saint said, with a big smile.

And so, today, the Vampire was stuck in the kitchen.



I can’t believe some of you hate the Saint, she’s just doing her best to help out a chuunibyou middle-aged man squatting in some ruins. Anyways, ten chapters, woo hoo.

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  1. Really, think about it from the saint’s perspective. From the plastic junk and white bread she’s brought, as well as the 21st century employment scams she showed him, we can assume that the world outside has advanced to something akin to the modern age. And with her reaction to Vamp Gramps mentioning adventurers hunting monsters and vampires in general being extinct, we can probably assume that most traces of the supernatural has been wiped from the world.

    So I’m not surprised that she doesn’t believe him. Would you believe a random man squatting in a ruin with his granddaughter when he tells you he’s a vampire?

    Either that or the twist is that she’s right, he’s just a deluded old man, and vampires were never real.

    1. I would at least be a bit more open-minded, and not reject it on the premise that “vampires don’t exist” from the very start.
      I mean he logically destroyed every counter-arguement she prepared to proove he is not a vampire, she is just too hard-headed. At that point I would at least be a bit more sceptical whether he is really a human or not. It is also unlikely for a modem granddaughter to take care of her NEET granpa without a word of complain while wearing a real maid outfit. I would also try to check his purchase history to find out whether he buys normal food on regular basis or not. If he didn’t it would reinforce the possibility of him being a vampire. If we believe the old man’s pov he only buys a chicken once every 6 months and that’s it. Not to mention that he and the familiar most likely don’t have any ID cirtificate or citizenship records. There is plenty of hints and leads to go by if you are not too hard headed to try.

  2. Yeas! The Sain is growing day by day and we are learning about the world every chapter without a wall of boring text! Now this is what I call world building and character development!!! \O/

  3. Did God take pity on his old enemy and sent the Saintess to help him or did he send her to harass him? Hmmm…

    Thanks for the chapter ^.^

  4. This could really use a little less repetition. With such short chapters, it’s hardly necessary to repeat the basics of the story setting every damn time. And that’s not even the only problem. The story concept is interesting, but the execution is lackluster to say the least. The author is a total amateur at writing.

    Thanks for the translation so far, but I think I’ll be dropping this here. Good luck.

  5. Well if she wants to find him work, lawyer or IRS agent might be a good match. Joking by me aside the problem here is this isn’t really funny. It’s a bad take on movie themes that were popular during the great depression. The vampire could practically be a clone of W.C. Fields all he has to do is Say ‘get away kid you bother me’ and it’s done

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