The Saint will Rehabilitate the Vampire Back into Society
“Mister! I found you some work-!”
With a loud noise, the thick black curtains are thrown open.
The man narrowed his eyes as the morning sun spread into his room – fully awake. He had already gotten up today.
Recently, he seems to have gotten in the habit of waking up early.
He’s also found it easier to go to sleep earlier at night.
Even though he was known as ‘The Minstrel of Midnight’ and ‘The Shadow of Darkness’, he had somehow become a morning person.
The glaring sunlight does seem to melt his eyes a little bit, but since he can regenerate there’s no problem.
Well, the scale of the damage and regeneration is so small, to anyone who looked it would just seem like his eyes are watering…
The man sat on the edge of his bed and took a deep breath.
The Saint who had just opened the curtain and was approaching with a smiling face like usual suddenly seemed confused.
“What’s this? Mister, have you stopped pretending to be hurt by the morning sun?”
“It’s more tiring to scream and shout than to just regenerate my body.”
“Is that so.”
The Saint gave a kind smile.
Somehow, the man felt like he was being pitied, just like he had been yesterday.
“…And, what kind of business did you have with me today?”
“I found you some work!”
The Saint took out a stack of rolled papers from behind her back.
It’s not just one or two. With the sheer amount she was holding in both her arms, it was a bit of a concern.
“I don’t need a job… I’m not particularly dissatisfied with my current life, I’m not sure how many times I have to keep saying this.”
“Even if mister isn’t worried about it, there are other people who are going to be troubled because mister isn’t working!”
And, in the corner of the room the Saint pointed towards-
A girl dressed in maid clothing stood there quietly.
Originally it was a bat, but one day it grew legs, another day it grew arms, and before he knew it the familiar was a full humanoid.
Thinking back, it actually must have changed slowly over the course of two or three hundred years, but he really doesn’t want to remember much of the details. Even vampires have things they find creepy.
In the Saint’s eyes, the familiar was the man’s granddaughter.
As a modern person who doesn’t believe in vampires, this is the best explanation for the childlike familiar.
“…Well, the familiar isn’t exactly dissatisfied with life either. There are various fruits and vegetables in my castle.”
“This castle belongs to the country! Mister, legally speaking, you’re squatting here!”
For the man, this is the least convincing argument – That somehow, his abode was some country’s possession despite him having lived here for centuries.
For now, although it’s troublesome, simply having a Saint want to ‘rehabilitate him back into society’ is something he can deal with.
But, if he felt like someone was going to take his abode by force, then he would have to respond with harsher measures.
No one wants to see a vampire meekly filling out paperwork on his lair at the city hall, after all.
“…So, how are you planning on rehabilitating this uncle back into society today?”
“I’ve been procuring requests from the guild!”
“…Guild? They still have those?”
“There is a guild. If shops need extra manpower or a factory needs more labour, they submit a request to the guild.”
“Or hire adventurers to kill monsters…”
“…Ah, yes yes. That’s right. Yes. Of course.”
It doesn’t sound like monsters or adventurers are a thing anymore.
The Saint’s eyes narrowed gently, it seemed like her ‘Humour the poor man’ mode.
“…Anyways! The first job I wanted to introduce mister to was this!”
She unfurled the first piece of paper.
The Saint seems to have memorized the contents, reading it perfectly word for word even as she showed the man.
“‘Inexperienced workers welcome! It’s a bright and cheerful workplace! Join us!'”
“…Hm? This is supposed to be work?”
“This seems to be lacking what exactly the business is…”
“But, it’s a fun workplace that makes you feel at home, right? And they welcome inexperienced people! It must be a wonderful job!”
It certainly seems wonderful, if you only look at those words, but…
He could feel the darkness beyond.
Some deep, unfathomable darkness lurked in that job advertisement.
Even the vampire shuddered at that abyss.
“…It doesn’t list any work duties.”
“Yes, but it’s a cozy workplace which makes you feel right at home…”
“Well, alright. Next?”
“Ah, yes. Next is ‘Inexperienced people welcome! Jewelry sales position! Only simple customer service required! You can earn commissions on sales!’ how about that?”
“Mister, because you’ve got a wonderful voice, I’m sure you’d do fine! Even if you’re unemployed, you have a certain elegance, if you fix your sleeping habit you could definitely do this job!”
“…Hm? It says here that you’re only paid for sales…”
“…Oh, that’s true. But, so long as you sell, that’s fine?”
“And it says here that you need to submit a ‘contract deposit’ as well.”
“…Oh, it does say that. But, isn’t it fine so long as you earn the contract deposit back through sales?”
What is this darkness?
The writing on the page does not seem particularly strange. But for some reason, some kind of alarm bell is ringing inside his head.
“Hmm, so that one’s no good either? Then what about… ‘Inexperienced people welcome! Get rich quick using our Refer-A-Friend system!’ or maybe ‘Inexperienced people welcome! Easy customer service work. For those confident in their appearance ✓'”
“Why do all of them cast such a terrible shadow… Anyways, are there any advertisements without the ‘Inexperienced people welcome!’ part?”
“But, mister, aren’t you inexperienced?”
“Well, if you put it like that…”
He had never been in a position where he needed to work.
In the old days, if he needed food he would kill for it, if he needed a bed he would just break in, and if he wanted to kill time he would just attack someone in the neighbourhood…
Thinking about it, he wonders if things like that are part of the reason that vampires became extinct?
“Anyways, no matter what you say… None of this makes me want to work.”
“I understand now… Basically, you’re after better employee benefits? None of these ones mentioned them, maybe it was a problem with the jobs I picked.”
“Uh… huh? I feel like you’re misunderstanding me here…”
The vampire doesn’t really understand employee benefits.
But, with the way the Saint talks about it, it must be something quite common in society.
“I understand! I’ll investigate to see if there are any jobs that fit mister’s criteria!”
“No, I just said, I don’t want to work…”
The Saint ran away with a smile on her face.
When the door closed, the man still standing in the room let out a sigh.
“…Well, how do you find work? Is it satisfying?”
The man asked his familiar who was standing in the corner of the room.
The familiar didn’t respond.
The man just shrugged his shoulders and laughed.
Despite the stare of the young girl in the maid uniform.